In the dark mess that is commonly referred to as my mind I came to the conclusion that perhaps the best thing would be for me to open up myself and just let out my thoughts for the world to see, despite the "risk" that people might come across and read them. I wish I could make my news opt in.

Takeover Tuesday

Takeover Tuesday is the best way to discover new content. You get every kind of content curated to you. It's like having people retell a story to you that has touched them.

Night of the werewolves

This movie is really gruesome, gory, violent. Beneath all of that is hidden an absolutely phenomenal and for me touching script. I don't think I would have seen it if not for takeover Tuesday.

Fields of rape

This movie found it's way into my favourites, and I like to tell myself that not every movie can do that. I like to reserve my favourites, at least conceptually, to only the best of the best, what really evokes feeling for me.

Rapid Hedgehog Cucumber Cucumber 1

This movie needs no introduction. I understand people claiming it's the best movie on newgrounds and I don't know how many times I watched it. From now on I wish to declare Mar 18 as "Cucumber Cucumber day" on newgrounds.

It's dangerous to be on newgrounds on Tuesdays, since it's so easy to swim too far out in the ocean of content on the site on takeover Tuesdays. I also find there's also a new kind of activity in my mind. I might encounter thoughts like: "this, or that, would be a good piece of media for takeover Tuesday".

Now what I don't like about takeover Tuesday is people "wasting" their takeover spot. And by wasting I mean: a movie that is already on the frontpage has no reason to get frontpaged again. It actually somehow evokes frustration in me to see people putting movies that are already on the frontpage. Another thing I don't like is people complaining about people promoting themselves (tee-hee).

I got depressed. In case anyone is curious about why I didn't continue the villaingrounds challenge. Irl won. Let's say my operation is sub optimal atm. I did put a lot of effort into making those pieces, staying up late into the night sacrificing sleep. I just don't operate quickly in general.

It was fun, I liked doing it, and am proud of what I did accomplish; and I wish to continue completing all pieces at some later time.

I'm the user of the day. As I am currently the most important person in the world you may tremble in fear.

I would like for these "blog" posts (which are actually news(?) to be a bit more private. I see this one in particular as a sort of journal, and imo it's not really the most suitable content to flash in the faces of innocent newgrounders.

Making art is so hard. I feel like most of the time I just bang my head against the desk. I can't focus, I can't create, my brain tries everything it can to escape the situation. I just stare at the art; no progress is made. Then I might go and do other things like update my feed, consume tiny bits of entertainment, try to send messages, my brain might venture into different websites, and then I might need to steer up/do things irl, I don't eat nor hydrate; back to banging my head against the desk and virtually no progress.

I don't hate ms paint as I have claimed. Though it is rather troublesome that I cemented my "artist-identity" as: "one creating art in ms paint". Ms paint does have some great capabilities for pixel manipulation, and I keep discovering new tricks, techniques and possibilities, which in itself can be a rewarding process; and I think much of the potential of ms paint (understandably, and it would be weird if it wasn't) is overlooked by most people. I have the same mentality when it comes to making art as playing games (sometimes they overlap): no tutorials. I have a need to figure out and discover how to do things by myself. Limitations and inability to git gud makes it so I don't always stick to this rule however.

Finished artworks can give me a lot of satisfaction, and for a long time; but everything about the process of getting there is just so so notoriously inefficient and difficult. I might get frustrated in case I happen to see an art stream since everything they do seem so easy. If they want to rotate something they just rotate it, resizing doesn't make it look terrible, there's layers. If I want to rotate something in ms paint I basically need to remake the entire thing unless it's by a 90 degree angle. Paint does have a function to skew. I've tried experimenting with it but I do not understand it and I know not how to consistently get satisfactory results from it yet. Most of them are really bad.

Also there are many alternatives that are free. Even some websites might let you zoom in more than Paint does. Krita seems promising, and good; it's just that this stubborn and vexing ms paint dedication that I sometimes question why I have (I question many things about myself) prevents me from exploring it. There's a Krita planet somewhere out there where things are easy, and we can't go there.

Perhaps that was all my spaghetti-and-meatballs-thoughts wanted to talk about at this time. Art-block and at the same time getting to talk about my personal creative process when creating art; some neat hubris.

so.. reading up on this scouted status makes it seem like scouted status is this thing that only sacred artists get and once you get scouted you are initiated to a higher status and are expected to dedicate a large portion of your life to art; as if it's a cult or something. How come it seems to be such a big deal? Is it that important to only show the best art? Do we have a dress code and only people with rich, fancy suits are allowed?

I'm not sure I'd want to be scouted considering the stress it appears to entail. Like if I were to get scouted, do I lose my privilege to make shitposts? Would I no longer be allowed to visit that playground? I'm not expecting to get definite answers, just rambling

edit 2024-07-01*

I've lost my shitpost privileges:

What I didn't notice before though is that Newgrounds does have a shitpost toggle:

I guess that means all should be well.

Nose nose nose nose

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